By #HerbieHind

When Laura ignores a “No Cold Callers” sign to pitch her premium cleaning products, she’s in for a surprise regarding what’s about to get a dusting down. Let’s just say — Patrick has a very hands-on approach to customer service, and he’s about to give her a lesson in why you should never knock on a door without reading the signs — literally.

There were several signs along Victoria Avenue that Laura felt she could quite happily live without: Mind the Step, Please Close the Gate, No Junk Mail. They were all, in her view, exercises in stating the obvious. Even the electricity distribution box nearby, with its dramatic KEEP OUT – DANGER OF DEATH, seemed a bit over-the-top—though she grudgingly admitted that one might be justified.

At number 42, a brass plaque reading No Cold Callers briefly caught her eye. She dismissed it with breezy indifference and pressed the doorbell.

In hindsight, she would come to regard this moment with a shade more caution. Her thoughts on household signage would never be quite the same again.

The campaign of comeuppance continues in this second letter from Clementine Beaufort-Smythe, who takes poetic revenge on her friend Poppy with a missing bathrobe, a damp corridor dash wearing only her birthday suit, and a close encounter with the Duchess. But has she gone too far — and what will Aunt Agatha say?

The Damp Corridor Dash

A scheming correspondent from Little Dithering pens a triumphant (if slightly soggy) update.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Dear Aunt Agatha,

You will, I trust, permit me a little gloating. For after weeks of simmering injustice, I have at last balanced the scales, or rather, tipped them in my favour.