By #ClementineAshe

When a genteel tea party at Thistlewood Grange descends into mayhem, the blame can (as usual) be traced to Arabella and Georgina Worthington. A misjudged jug of lemonade, a toppled cake stand, and an ill-timed flirtation send the nieces headfirst into the ornamental fountain—and directly into a rather damp reckoning. With wet bloomers, rattled china, and one deeply conflicted vicar, Fountain of Misfortune is a spirited tale of toppled decorum, toasty buns, and traditional discipline, applied with rhythm, conviction, and more than a few droplets of moral clarity.

Act 1: Tea, Bickering, and the Baptism of Battenbergs

The garden terrace at Thistlewood Grange had long been a battleground and the scene of countless skirmishes. Most of these campaigns were launched by Lady Worthington's nieces, Arabella and Georgina, whose antics ranged from mere border raids on the biscuit tin, to full-scale sabotage of afternoon tea.

While these forays occasionally yielded temporary gains, Lady Worthington maintained the upper hand with her fearsome arsenal — of which the hairbrush was both first resort, and final recourse. It was said to have quelled more uprisings than the Home Guard, and even had its own campaign medal.”

By #HerbieHind

When Prudence Featherstone campaigns to muffle the village church bells, she finds herself face to face with a most unexpected form of pastoral resistance. A Sound Correction is a riotous tale of muffled decorum, ecclesiastical determination, and the redemptive power of olivewood. Expect scripture, scandal, and a peal of thoroughly instructive consequences.

There were only a few things in life that Miss Prudence Featherstone disliked more than noise—though she was, in due course, to discover another.

This included, but was not limited to: the over-exuberance of the handbell choir, the thwack of cricket bats on summer afternoons, the gramophone at The Hare and Barrel—especially when it played jazz—and, above all, the joyous clanging of the bells of St Mildred’s, which she had once likened to “a brass band being mugged in a stairwell.”

SpankLit is a collection of short stories for the discerning reader who appreciates a certain je ne sais quoi in tales of genteel discipline. If you find joy in neatly turned ankles, a well-placed hairbrush, and the occasional instructive mishap, then you’ve come to the right place.

We celebrate the charm of bygone settings, mischievous moments, and the noble tradition of correction and redemption. Our stories are cheeky, sometimes naughty, but always handled with taste, wit, and a deep respect for vintage upholstery.

And impeccable decorum? Well — naturally!